The Ultimate Arena?
by frajfraj
Summary: All kinds of crazy mess happens. Just check it out.
1. The Tournament Begins and Ends

Megaman looked off into the distance quite stupidly, the top of his blue helmet slightly obscured his vision of the gray smoggy sky. Naruto and Spiderman sat side by side, eating their twin tuna sandwiches before the fights started. Who knew they were both tuna enthusiasts?

Everyone else, being Wario, Astaroth, and Guile sat separately, randomly, across the arena, munching on their separate food items. Guile was staring at Megaman, quite confused on his odd behavior. But as everyone knows, Capcom characters have ADD, so he forgot about it very quickly, and went back to feasting on a bowl of ramen. Wario was too busy picking his nose in between sessions of gobbling down several dozen hamburgers. Astaroth was biting into a live cow...but I'll leave that description alone.

As everyone sat there, eating their lunch...er...except for Megaman, a loud noise echoed from behind them. The annoying and ever-present voice of an old man. Sure enough, a short, bald old man with a turtle shell on his back strode into the arena, expecting some kind of acknowledgement. Of course, no Dragon Ball characters were in this particular tournament, so he was only greeted with awkward looks all around. Except that is, from Megaman. Master Roshi furrowed his brow, "Well, you can't all be eating lunch if we're going to have a fight here, eh?" Nobody said anything. Astaroth must have hit something vital, because the cow stopped mooing. Master Roshi hobbled over toward where Megaman was standing and raised his cane threateningly. Megaman stood and did nothing. This was quite frusturating, yet puzzling, and Master Roshi inquisitively tapped Megaman on the head.

Nothing. He raised his hand to his beard and scrathced his chin. After a short session of thinking, something Master Roshi was not particularly good at, he kicked Megaman in the shin and began to walk off. As soon as he turned around, He heard a shrill cry from behind him, and then nothing, as he was split into several tiny chunks of flesh by a blast emitted by Megaman's cannon arm thingy. Yes, that is the technical term. Spider-Man got up and closed his Barbie lunchbox. "This is some messed up crap.", he said, and walked out of the arena. Megaman stood, in cannon firing position. Everyone else slowly got up and made their way out of the arena. The referee was dead, they wouldn't continue anyway. Wario quickly scarfed down his last thirteen hamburgers. Astaroth tucked the said cow under his arm, Naruto disappeared in a purple puff of smoke, leaving his lunch. Guile stuffed the rest of his bologna sandiwch into his hair.

They all went back to their respective video game and comic book worlds, having wasted a half day getting there, and essentially, eating lunch. Except for Megaman. Two weeks later, he died of starvation. Nobody really missed him, except for his die-hard fans, who wouldn't choose to believe he died from idiotically refusing to move or eat or breathe for that matter. So it was questionable how he lived five minutes. But all the geeks went on believing that he died against a boss wth infinite hit points.

To Be Continued?...Maybe...if I feel like it.


	2. The Tournament Almost Really Begins

Sun shone on the windows of the ugly, vomit-green, suburban home. They were quite dusty, but nobody around seemed to noticed, as their lives were much too important. Inside there was a peculiar looking man in a doctor's coat, who may have been recognized by some as Dr. Mario. He smashed a koopa action figure into a toy bob-omb and made a fake explosion noise, then threw his head back in laughter. He then realized he was the center of a story, and quickly stopped and pretended to do something important. He stood up and looked around his living room, viewing the burnt-brown colored shag carpet and rotting antique furniture. He waddled strangely over to the nearest rotting desk and took up a piece of paper, studying it, and probably not realizing how stupid he looked. "Aha!" he shouted, and then ran out of the room.

That was pretty much pointless.

Back in the Marvel universe, Peter Parker sat alone at an awkwardly large table in his favorite New York cafe', glad that he didn't have to be spending his time when his cell phone rang. RING RING appeared in exaggerated letters next to his pocket, and he withdrew it in a swift movement, closing his new Care Bears lunch box. He figured if he was going to be taken seriously, he needn't use that silly Barbie lunchbox. "Hello, this is Peter Parker.", he spoke into the phone. There was silence, but someone was probably on the other line talking to him. "Dr. Mario?" He paused again, a very easy way to cheaply take up comic panels. "A tournament?" Another pause. The readers of that issue were very disappointed in the lack of action. "Wait...is Megaman invited?" I think you can predict what happens before another spout of Comic Sans font dialogue. "Oh, he died?" The pause was shorter this time. "Oh good." Ugh...another pause. "Okay! I'll be there." Peter Parker crashed out of the cafe.

Dr. Mario hung up the telephone. He can't really talk...but I'm guessing the tournament was going to be held again. Dr. Mario pulled his Fan Fiction Crossovers telephone book and began looking up names. First he found...Naruto...

Peter Parker rushed back into the cafe', grabbed his Care Bears lunchbox and headed off again. So it was final, the tournament was going to be held.

Dr. Mario needed one more character to be in the tournament. He searched the crossover telephone book, thinking as hard as he could, which isn't very hard. Just as he was about to give up, the perfect idea came to his mind. Pac-Man.

At this point, or probably before, you might have been wondering why Dr. Mario suddenly decided to host the tournament, and seemed to have taken over Master Roshi's work. Well, I'm not going to tell you, mainly because I have no explanation. You might be disappointed how this chapter went. Well...I don't care. Put up with it. Another chapter? Inevitably.


End file.
